Writing Samples

Professional, business writing should be clear and concise with well-constructed sentences and language appropriate to the formal or bureaucratic context.

Unfortunately, a lot of business writing, particularly in the government and community services sectors, is a mire of obfuscating, superfluous and jargon-filled phrases and poorly constructed sentences. Documents written in this way are difficult to read and compromise any intended meaning. They are certainly at risk of being misunderstood, or of not being read at all, because of the effort and time it takes to decipher the meaning.

Below are some examples of how to turn an obscurely-written paragraph into something that is both professional and understandable.

1. The needs analysis will seek barriers to service access that will inform the strategic plan, ensuring our organisation is on-target to deliver services to clients most in need of capacity building.

The needs analysis will identify barriers that are experienced by some people who try to access our services. The results of this research will be used to develop our strategic plan. These processes will ensure that our organisation is able to deliver its services to those clients whose needs are currently not being met, thereby assisting them to develop their capacities as individuals and as members of society.

2. It is possible to argue the exclusion of the provisions giving rise to exemptions did not fall in the parameters scoping this investigation and therefore cannot be part of the final decisions on recommendations.

It is possible to argue that the scope of this investigation did not include the provisions on exemptions. For this reason, the issue of exemptions cannot be included in the final recommendations.

3. Providing a guidance kit on information involving youth legal rights will help staff wishing to facilitate their clients into more secure pathways based on support and social justice.

The provision of an information kit on young people's legal rights will assist staff whose clients need support in choosing more secure options. The information kit will make a significant contribution towards achieving social justice for youth at risk.